Janelle's Adventures in Retirement

Have you lost your Census?

2010-05-29T05:53:00.000-07:00

Many months after making a perfect score on the Census test, I was finally hired as an enumerator. The first day of training week was total chaos. They were having a great deal of difficulty matching trainees to their trainers. If they can't keep track of their workers, how can they possibly deal with the entire US population? The rest of the week was pretty much a waste of time as my crew leader/teacher had not seen the information before. We had lots of questions and no answers.

We were given forms and a book of addresses. My first book went well. It was lower middle class neighborhoods with both English and Spanish speaking residents. My Spanish is okay as long as the other person wants to communicate . The biggest problem was the people who were never home. In those situations we were supposed to get as much information as possible from the neighbors. Fortunately for me, many of the neighbors were gossips and I was able to complete the book.

My next book was primarily Spanish speaking people in low income apartments and mobile homes. Locals warned me that there were many illegals and to be careful where I went and parked. My biggest problem in this area was "hiders". I could often hear people inside a residence, yet they wouldn't answer the door.

The Census is mandated by the U.S. Constitution and participation is required by law. I asked what the penalty was for refusal and was told that that there might be a $2500 fine although no one knew how it could be enforced. Our training book said we were allowed to do a maximum of three personal visits to each residence. This was the first rule that was thrown out. We were told to keep visiting the house and/or neighbors until the Census form was filled out. In other words, there would be no refusals because enumerators would keep returning until the information was received.

I had trouble getting Census information in an area of rundown fourplexes. There were lots of "hiders" and tightlipped neighbors. Over the course of my visits to the area, I noticed a smell build from a slight chemical odor to an overwhelming urine/ammonia stench and then disappear. I made jokes about my "meth lab" area until I looked "meth lab" up on the internet and realized I probably had one. Banging on the door of a smelly apartment with a large broken out window and big dog seemed kind of stupid after that. When I expressed my concern, I was told to "keep trying" and "talk to neighbors". I was also told that any negative information I turned in such as "possible meth lab", "angry illegals", etc, would be shredded and another enumerator would be sent. Getting the numbers was more important than an enumerator's safety. There are a lot of people who need jobs.

A lot of people want someone to yell at and I was a captive audience until the form was completed. The strangest encounter was with a person who was very unhappy about the Census counting everyone. She kept screaming about a democratic conspiracy to give everything away to illegals. What's sad about this is that Arizona stands to gain a congressional representative based on our population growth which is determined by the Census. We're counting illegals who can't vote in order to gain a representative who will most likely represent the views of the screaming woman.

Things went downhill from there. I counted squatters in boarded up structures and large numbers of people living in tiny quarters. In an old hotel that had been converted into an apartment complex for illegals, a woman told a large man to get me. I didn't stay long enough to translate the Spanish he was yelling. After that, I revisited the area when the men should have been at work. I almost caused a riot when screaming women came out from all over the apartment complex. I quickly left and never returned.

Arizona government's focus on "Immigration Control" has alienated many people. The bilingual members of my team were given desk jobs. One of them sometimes visited residences, but would not go out alone. The other enumerators spoke very little Spanish. Repeatedly sending non Spanish speakers into poor areas where many illegals are known to live is a recipe for disaster. To make things worse, the Census form race question said that Hispanic origin is not a race and did not include any options for people of Hispanic origin.

As I progressed through the books, I realized I was being sent to residences where previous enumerators had failed. I was not given any information about the previous visits. I quit the Census when I was told that the most productive enumerators were going to be sent to the homeless/drug areas in south Phoenix. I could have waited because most decisions were soon changed. I was asked to do a survey about my supervisor at both the beginning and end of my Census job. The survey was done in pencil, had a place for my name, and was given to the person the survey was about. This survey method usually does not result in an accurate assessment.

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Arizona's Tourist Control

2010-05-23T09:28:00.000-07:00

It seems like every move Arizona's state government makes is destined to hurt its number one industry--tourism. What most potential tourists know about Arizona is that it has the Grand Canyon, Sedona, hot weather, concealed weapons, lots of illegals, high sales tax, closed parks, closed rest stops, uneducated people, and police with confusing laws to enforce. I don't think this will encourage tourists, especially foreigners, to flock to Arizona.

Arizona politicians appear to be incapable of fixing Arizona's economic woes. What does a government do when it can't fix a problem? Distract the public! "Concealed Weapons" should have inspired more public response than it did, but "Immigration Control" managed to ignite the public on both sides of the issue. While it hasn't fixed Arizona's economic problem, it has been a successful distraction.

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Arizona State Parks: http://www.golio.net/ArizonaStateParks.html

Screaming Bosses and Free Knives

2009-07-10T06:46:00.000-07:00

Since 911, security guards have become an integral part of our society. Getting searched is now a normal part of public events. The security company I work for has bad hours, low pay, and treats people poorly. The work isn't all that great either, yet people are constantly applying for employment. There seems to be an endless supply of people who can’t get jobs anywhere else. The next time a security guard pats down your body and goes through your things, think about the person doing it. I paid $80 for an 8 hour class, a multiple choice test, and a fingerprint check. I am licensed to be an unarmed security guard in Arizona. I could be an armed security guard for $90 more, a gun, and some target practice.

My previous “Weird Archaeology” blog described events intertwining my job as a security guard and my archaeology hobby. Below are some incidents from my job as a security guard.

The ATM Incident
I was guarding a remote gate at a beer festival when I noticed a guy in jeans and a t-shirt spending too much time at a nearby portable ATM machine. He left, but soon returned with a homemade board on wheels. He put the ATM on the board and started rolling it toward the far gate. Security guards are not allowed to leave their posts, so I radioed my supervisor. The ensuing radio chatter was pretty funny as guards radioed the location of the ATM machine rolling across the grounds toward the main gate. The main gate people verified that the guy with the ATM actually worked for the ATM company.

The Bus Incident
My shift at an all day music festival was scheduled to begin at 9:30 AM. The company bus was supposed to leave at 8:45, but instead left sometime after 9. The driver took the bus to an unknown parking lot, turned off the engine, shut the door, and left. Summer in Phoenix and 35 people in an unventilated bus can get hot and stuffy. 9:30 was quickly approaching and I realized we weren't going to be on time. I called my company and reported the bus situation. They said not to worry. It was almost 10 by the time the bus arrived at the event. The sign in sheet had 10 as my start time, I mentioned that I was scheduled for 9:30 and had arrived at the bus on time. The supervisor started screaming at me and said I was scheduled for 10. Other guards at the event had also been given a start time of 9:30 with10 written on the signup sheet. Before the event was over, I was told to leave in an early departing company van.

At my performance evaluation, I learned that my file contained 1 commendation and 2 reprimands. Apparently, it is insubordination to ask a question or attempt a dialog with a supervisor. The insubordination means I also have a bad attitude. The reprimands were for the incident described in the Weird Archaeology blog and the bus incident above. The supervisor had tried to have me fired after the bus incident, but she couldn't because of the commendation for the ATM incident. This makes the ATM incident even funnier. Secret rules and reprimands seem a bit odd. Had they actually wanted me to quit attempting to talk with supervisors, they could have informed me of the rule or the first reprimand.

The human resources person said I would not receive the normal $.20/hour raise because of the reprimands. I have done things that deserved reprimands and commendations, but these weren’t them. I should have received a commendation when I discovered in advance that the schedulers had told all the guards to go to the wrong location for an event. The wrong location was almost 1 hour away from the correct one. At supervisor’s requests, I have stayed late on many occasions. I have also pulled a lot of weapons off people entering events. The quality of my work was not brought up at the evaluation--only that I had twice attempted to have 2-way communication with a supervisor.

Supervisors have absolute power over the people under them. It is common practice to play with employee hours. The pay is in 15 minute increments. Most supervisors round down--14 minutes rounds to 0 instead of 15. Others actually cut time after it is worked. Supervisors cancel or shorten shifts to give hours to their friends. They even cancel each other's friend's shifts. I’ve seen 3 people show up for the same position. Everything is done over the telephone and employees are not allowed to check for changes. There is no pay for showing up at a canceled position.

It is no surprise that the security company I work for has a high turnover rate. Why would anyone take all the abuse and risk for low pay and bad hours? I took a knife off someone entering an event and set it on the table while I completed the search. Another guard immediately pocketed the knife. It did not go into the contraband barrel. Another time, I had a badly swollen finger and needed a knife to let out the puss. The security guards around me pulled out an incredible assortment of lethal knives. Do people become security guards for the free knives?

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Weird Archaeology

2009-05-27T18:45:00.000-07:00

My husband and I signed up for a weeklong archaeological project. Unfortunately, the security company I work for had important jobs during that week so I switched the project to the next week. Two weeks before the new date, a dog attacked a mountain lion in the project area. Against forest rules, the dog had been unleashed and running wild in a mountain lion habitat. The owners came up with the story that the dog saved their family from the mountain lion probably to avoid a ticket. The news reported the fictional version of the story. Had there not been evidence to the contrary, it would have been a death sentence for the mountain lion.

Monday evening in the week I was originally supposed to go to the project, my security company said that the next week’s jobs were more important and I should switch the project back to this week. It was a bit late for that. My company said I would be fired if I missed the new jobs, so I quit. They decided not to fire me and I decided not to quit. I handled a number of difficult situations in that week’s jobs—including stopping a taser from accompanying someone into an event. During this week, a military helicopter carrying ordinance crashed in the project area causing a missile to go off and scattering ordinance. The area was closed off and a search began for the missing ordinance.

The project area is near the border with Mexico. All the activity associated with the crash and search panicked the illegals. They abandoned their normal trails and campsites and scattered throughout the forest. When we finally arrived for the project, the border patrol was everywhere. Low flying helicopters were constantly overhead. They used high power searchlights at night. One high speed car chase resulted in a crash and injured people.

The project itself was uneventful. Aggressive rattlesnakes had been abundant the previous time I’d been there. A fellow participant leapt into the air with a rattlesnake attached to his boot heel. The rattlesnake flew away from him as he landed in a summersault. A different rattlesnake struck at me and missed. The aggressive rattlesnakes almost made me not want to return this time, but the archaeology is interesting and the people running it are great. Military helicopters carrying ordinance probably don’t crash there often, but the number of illegals and associated problems were unbelievable. I will have to think long and hard before returning to this area.

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Spring Training Practice

2009-02-25T09:22:00.000-08:00

Spring Training is an important time for the Arizona economy. Snowbirds watch practice and games without any idea of the effort behind them. Greens keepers constantly mow, water, aerate, and check the numerous fields in the park. Mowers cut off a miniscule amount of grass so the length always stays the same. A lot of attention is also paid to the dirt areas to keep them level and smooth.

Each field or area is used for a different type of practice. My area was near where catchers caught balls thrown by a machine and pitchers practiced fielding balls. The pitchers faked a throw, fielded a ball from the batter area, faked another throw to a base, and then threw the ball into a pile. There was also a batter cage where players hit balls from a T-Ball-like stand. They practice whatever is designated for the area they’re in until a horn sounds. Then, most of players run to their next practice area with their cleats still on.

Autograph seekers can be quite persistent. I caught a couple of professionals trying to hide in the middle of a group of players switching practice areas. The most persistent professional autograph seeker had given the team management a story about giving autographed balls and bats to underprivileged children. This person hung out in my area while management sent players to him to sign balls. I spoke with the autograph seeker quite a bit and gradually his story fell apart. People like this ruin it for the person who is actually trying to help underprivileged children.

A lot of media and delivery vehicles came through my area--Fed Ex, UPS, the caterer, uniforms, equipment, and tents. People with absolutely no credentials would drive up and expect to be allowed to go into the major league clubhouse area. This is such an absurd thing to do, that I figured they had to be legitimate. Every one of them was eventually allowed to pass after being confirmed by team management.

The best part was sitting outside on a gorgeous day, watching baseball players perfecting their skills, and getting paid for it.

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Parada del Sol Parade

2009-02-24T03:56:00.000-08:00

Traveling on business, I chanced to be the final car let through before a small town Christmas parade. I put on a Santa hat that just happened to be in my car and waved at people as I went by. People cheered back. It was a nice feeling. I joined my company’s band as soon as I returned home. I hadn’t played flute in 25 years, but I wanted to be in another parade. The band even had a flat bed truck to ride on so we didn’t have to walk and play at the same time. It was below zero when the day of the parade finally arrived. The wind kept us from using our portable music holders. Most of the band knew Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer by heart, so they played it over and over again. I faked it. Parades are big entertainment in small towns. Lots of people braved the bad weather and showed up to applaud our efforts. We went once around the block and it was all over. There were three bands in the parade and the judges awarded us second place.

Having no talent or fame to display, I switched from parade participant to spectator. A nearby small town with a reservoir had their parade in the summer. People dressed up, towed decorated boats, and pelted spectators with candy and popsicles. The parade varied every year depending on participants, but the subsequent festival was pretty much the same--focusing primarily on food and beer.

The Parada del Sol Parade was advertised as the “World’s Largest Horsedrawn Parade”. This is probably because most people don’t use horses anymore. Close to 150 entries were anticipated, but only 99 showed up. The biggest cheers seemed to be for the kids shoveling horse poop and Terry Goddard, Arizona’s Attorney General. It was quiet when Sheriff Joe Arpaio went by. This was very different from earlier times when people clapped and waved their pink underwear at him. There were lots of horses--from miniatures to Percherons and Clydesdales. The only routine I saw was performed by a dog drill team that switched rows as they marched. Some of the folklorico dancers waved their skirts and did steps as they went by. Except for a couple of school bands, people in various uniforms just walked or rode by. There were multitudes of females of all ages shaking pom poms. The Jazzy Poms are a group of older women cheerleaders. Their leader was an amazing baton twirler. She was the only baton twirler in the parade. Baton Twirling and Trick Roping are fast becoming lost arts. This year’s Parada del Sol had a low spectator turnout. Parades are free entertainment so this can’t be blamed on the current economic mess. I think people just got bored watching other people walk by.

Parades have changed a lot from when the days when I chased after the thrown candy. The paraders used to entertain the crowds on the curb. Now, they just expect to be applauded for being there.

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NBA All-Star Game

2009-02-16T17:01:00.000-08:00

My supervisor at work was a delegator and together we produced a high quality product that was always on time. After 3 years, my supervisor quit and was replaced by a micromanaging, control freak who did not have enough time or knowledge to be a micromanaging, control freak. The stress of a Napoleon wannabe coupled with long periods of immobility and eye strain from sitting in front of a computer all day turned my job into a genuine health hazard. My husband and I had planned on retiring early. http://www.golio.net/EngineeringYourRetirement.html
I did not need to work, but I liked the idea of an interesting job where I would be paid to do things I'd always been curious about. This is how my adventures in retirement began.

My quest coincided with the NBA All-Star Game and associated activities. I began on a Friday at 5:30 AM. At the US Airways front entrance, I was to watch people going through a metal detector and check their bags--similar to airport security. People seem to be getting used to this and usually are good natured about the intrusion. We threw a lot of knives and sodas into the garbage. At one point, an undercover DPS agent asked to see my guard card. I told him I was staff, not security, and showed him my shirt. Luckily, I was loafing and correctly labeled because I later found out it is a class 1 misdemeanor to check people without a guard card. Other new employees were not so lucky. If I had been ticketed, I would no longer be eligible for my guard card and my new career would have ended on its first day. I worked 15 ½ hours straight with 2 bathroom breaks.

Here are some hints for a smooth check:
· Be as nice or funny as possible—interpretations of the rules vary
· Put your things in a purse instead of a backpack.
· Try to bring as little as possible.
· Any kind of knife is a weapon.
· If you have something that will not pass the check and don’t have anywhere to put it, find the closest open post office and mail it home.

My second day was at the hotel where the players, coaches, officials, etc were staying. Everyone wore badges except the players who were easy to recognize due to their height. It was amazing to see them squish into elevators and duck through doorways. The best part was seeing them with their families. My job was to make the rounds of security guards and see if anyone needed anything. I often took a guard’s position while they went for a bathroom break. An NBA official asked about my guard card as I was walking between guard positions. I was moved to the media room. A security guard controlled access to this area, so I was a baby sitter for the millions of dollars of equipment stored in the room. Most people see the results of the media people’s work, not the tremendous amount of equipment and labor that goes into it. I worked 12 hours and was allowed to go to the bathroom and eat lunch.

My third day started with a private party at the Convention Center. It featured legends of basketball. Even though the guests were rich and well connected, they went through security just like everyone else. I was surprised at how pleasant and fun they were with the hired help. I ran into several of the legends of basketball—recognizable by their height and grey hair.

After the party, I went back to the US Airways front entrance for the All-Star Game. I stood in front of a long barrier and gave directions while making sure no one crossed or passed anything over the barrier. It’s difficult to give directions when you don’t know anything. Additionally, this crowd was not nearly as pleasant as previous crowds. At one point I found a pile of ditched knives outside a metal detector. I threw them away. A lot of people tried to climb or pass contraband over the barriers. Every time I caught someone and asked them to stop--they did. This was probably because due to the abundance of police rather than my commanding authority. I worked 13 ½ hours with 2 bathroom breaks and a short lunch.

I worked almost 40 hours over a 3 day weekend. I saw the NBA All-Star Game from a totally different perspective than most people. My stress is gone and it will be interesting to see if my blood pressure has lowered. Quitting my job was one of the best things I’ve ever done. My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner.

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